I can't be perfect
by boogersinmybrain
Summary: One Shot -Song Fic- to 'Perfect' by Simple Plan. Rated for language. All in Harry's POV. I hope you like it! Read and Review please!


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-I can't be perfect.-

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry, as much as I want to. I don't own the song. Actually, now that you think of it, I don't own much. But that's not the point!

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**Hey there**(A/N I changed the word)

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**Look at me.**

I'm not trying to be the all 'misunderstood' teenager. But really, how can I help it? It was one month. One month ago that I lost my last remaining _loving_ relative. One month ago that I was given the biggest burden of them all. One month ago, I was told I had to either kill Voldermort, or I had to be killed by Voldermort.

**Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?**

I feel like I've aged ten years in this past month. I guess being alone could do that to you too. Alright, I'm not completely alone, I still have to contact the Order every 3 days, and Ron and Hermione owl me almost daily, but it's not the same. It'll never be the same.

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**And do you think I'm wasting my time**

Doing things I wanna do?

I can't go on a normal date with a girl. The only time I even have admirers is in the Wizarding world, and even then it would probably be plastered on the cover page of the Daily Prophet. No privacy whatsoever. And here at Privet Drive, well they all think I'm a juvenile delinquent. Don't they? And it wouldn't matter anyway. Dudley would beat me to pulp. I can't do anything I want. I want to fly away and leave the prophecy to someone else.

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But it hurts when you disapproved all along

Have I told Ron and Hermione about the prophecy? Hell no. Seeing Dumbledore's teary, aging face was hard enough to deal with. Never mind my best friends. Ron... Ron wouldn't know what to do. His face would pale even more then it already is and he'd probably not talk for a long time. Hermione, god I don't even want to think about her reaction. But she'd most likely burst into tears and whatnot, and it's absolutely awkward trying to comfort her. Ron and I have tried on various occasions, but it's still no use. And I know they will be angry at me for keeping it a secret. They always are.

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And now I try hard to make it

I just want to make you proud

I'm trying my hardest to make everyone proud. To live up to the expectations pre-set for me. I'm trying to think of ways to defeat Voldermort, that's what everyone wants. Even bloody Snape wants me to defeat Voldermort.

**I'm never gonna be good enough for you**

But every way I think of ends up with me dead. 'And he shall have powers the dark lord has not'. The only power I have that he doesn't is love. Love. But what good can love do to defeat Voldermort? I can't figure out how it would be of use to me during a battle. I can't defeat Voldermort. It's not possible.

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**I can't pretend that  
I'm alright  
And you can't change me**

But the reason I'm not telling them is because I don't need their pity. I don't need them to change the way they treat me because of the prophecy. Fine, if I'd be honest with myself I'd know that they wouldn't treat me differently because of that. They don't treat me differently because I'm the 'boy-who-lived'. With them I'm just Harry. Just a plain normal 16 year old like them. But there's always been a wall separating us.

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'Cuz we lost it all 

The night I head the prophecy I lost every last hope I've ever had of someone defeating Voldermort. I always hoped it would be Dumbledore, or a full grown -powerful wizard. Not me.

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Nothing lasts forever

  
  
I know I was his downfall when I was one. But I hoped that someone else would kill him. Not me._ ****_

I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I'm not perfect. I can't be perfect.

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Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back

If I was perfect, I would have remembered that Snape was in fact in the Order, and that he would have known if Sirius was at Grimmuald Palace or not.

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I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

If I was perfect, I would have realized that Voldermort was, as Hermione said it, 'banking on my saving-people thing'.

**I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside**

My entire future is already planned out by Dumbledore whether I like it or not. It hurts to know that I can't do anything about my future. Because it was foretold in that godforsaken prophecy. Why did Dumbledore have to tell me?

**Did you know you used to be my hero?**

Dumbledore. I have many mixed feelings about him right now. He used to be a comfort. When he was there, nothing bad could happen. He used to be a hero for me. My dad would always be first, but Dumbledore was alive, and someone I could confide my fears in, and someone I could get answers from -most of the time.

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All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away

We used to talk all the time. The past year Dumbledore wouldn't look me in the eye. He wouldn't face me when he talked. It was just two years ago that I was in Dumbledore's office with Sirius discussing the Triwizard tournament and the scene at the graveyard. Two years ago seems like an eternity. Why couldn't he tell me then?

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And it feels like you don't care anymore

He hid knowledge about me, from me. He kept the secret of the prophecy to only himself. And now, I can't help but wonder if there's anything else about me he knows that I don't. I can't help but be angry at him. If he would have told me about the prophecy, I could have -maybe- prevented Sirius' death. But I didn't know. And I still don't know whatever else he's hiding from me. He doesn't seem to care that I'm being destroyed from the inside out.

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'Cuz we lost it all

I've lost all hope. I can't defeat Voldermort. I'm going to let everyone down.

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Nothing lasts forever

  
  
The false hope people have right now is going to evaporate._ ****_

I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

If I was perfect, I would have mastered Occulemency and I wouldn't have seen the vision at all.

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Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back

Sirius is dead. The prophecy is made. Voldermort is back. Nothing can change these things.

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I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I wish I was perfect. I wish I could rid the world of Voldermort. But I'm not perfect. I can't.

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Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
Nothing's gonna make this right again

It was my fault Sirius is dead. It doesn't matter what anyone said. It's my fault. It's my fault Hermione almost died. My fault Ron was scarred with thoughts. My fault Neville broke his nose and Ginny broke her ankle. Everything is my fault. Nothing anyone says is going to change the truth.

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Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard

Just to talk to you

If I were to talk to Ron and Hermione about the prophecy, they would insist on helping me. And not fully 'get' what I'm saying.

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**But you don't understand**

According to them, I can do anything with their help. But I can't. The prophecy doesn't mention two helpers. It mentions me killing Voldermort, or being killed by Voldermort.

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**'Cuz we lost it all **

The night Voldermort came back to his human body was the last day we would have a peace in the world.

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Nothing lasts forever

  
  
The time of peace while Voldermort was thought dead is over. He's going to be a powerful force again._ ****_

I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I'm not perfect. I can't be perfect.

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Now it's just too late and  
We can't go back

The prophecy has already been made. And the only thing left is to fulfill it.

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I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect

I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect. And that's why, when the war comes down to Voldermort and me...

I'm going to die.

(Well. My first Song-fic. I hope you like it. If you couldn't already tell, it's based on the song "Perfect" by Simple Plan. I was in one of my Harry Potter Obsession moments and I heard the song on the radio and I was like 'THATS PERFECT!' Anyway, I know it kind of sucks. But It was really the first chapter of something else, with each chapter reflecting a song, but I changed my mind and turned this into a one shot. But whatever. Please Review! )

xox Mione


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